Life is full of endless mind-boggling mysteries.
Though this seems obvious, I think it often goes unnoticed. As many of you know, I have recently moved to a new area, where I don’t know anyone except my parents and sister.
I have pretty much dwelled within the confines of my house for the last month, pretty boring right? Well, I got pretty used to the way things were going for the first 2 weeks, and then I got bored with it. Exuberatingly bored. It was unimaginable. I got the slight feeling that I imagine someone who is experiencing depression might have. Though, I was far from anything of the sort.
Anyways, like I was saying, I kind of got used to things. I found myself driving 5-10 miles under the speed limit instead of 5-10 miles over. I was happy doing it too. I found joy in just looking at the sky as I was driving, its really quite beautiful country up here in Van Alstyne, at least the skies are. Most the time the sky resembles something magnificent that you would see in a painting by Thomas Kincaid, except without all the pastels.
So, for this past month, I have been finding great joy, in little things, because my lifestyle has been drastically altered. I haven’t had any obligations, duties, appointments, activities, deadlines, arrangements, engagements, tasks, responsibilities, errands or jobs. You get the idea.
Though, as I was finding such happiness in little things, I was also finding such stress in little things. All my perceptions seem to have been magnified by ten fold. It seems odd that I could manage to find more stress in this stress free environment than I did while at college. Perhaps I am acknowledging these stresses that have always been present in the absence of my activities. That seems reasonable enough.
The greatest thing I have learned in the last month is to be less consumed with “the hurry.” I realized, why the rush? Why have I always been in a hurry to get somewhere, just so I can wait around to figure out somewhere else that I need to hurry to get to. It honestly makes no difference. I have found more happiness in the last month in the time it actually takes me to get somewhere, than to actually do whatever it is I’m doing when I get there. I lost my ambition to do the most fun things around, and become more concerned with enjoying the company of those around me.
Life is about the journey, not the dead end in the road that we are always find when we hurry to get somewhere. I look forward to forks in the road, to times when the road narrows to one lane, to when my exit is closed, to when I have to stop and wait a little while to wait for the fog to pass through. I say all this not to bore you with the most exhilarating experiences that I have achieved in a pretty boring place, but to encourage you – be happy. Serve people. You will find more joy in watching other people be joyful, than you will in being joyful yourself. I promise. Maybe it sounds cheesy, fake, or gay. Call it what you will, but soon enough, you will realize this opinion is fact, is truth.
Yet, in all of this new revelation, I find I have to strive to keep myself on this mind set. Just yesterday, I had a job interview. It took a few hours, and I was pretty tired afterwards. It was late, I was hungry, and I was bored. I had about a 15 mile drive home from my interview, and I found myself speeding again. But why? 15 miles isn’t to long. I thought about it, did the math since I had nothing better to do. If I went the speed limit, 70 mph, it would take me about 13 minutes and 45 seconds to get home. If I kept doing 80 it would take me about 11 minutes and 15 seconds. I’m going 10 mph to save myself a minute and a half. What could I possibly do in that minute in a half? ..Nothing of any importance or significance. However, I kept speeding, even though I knew this. Why? Strangely enough, I think I kept it up, because I felt like if I was passing other people, that I was making a big difference. If everyone else was going 80, I probably would have gone 90, just because that hurry persona came back to me. I honestly believe this perception came back immediately after my first appointment/activity/arran
Even after about a month of living with my new outlook, I still have to remind myself of my purpose in life when I get back into the groove of things – be happy, enjoy the journey. And when I do follow that outlook, I find myself in the happiest state I think I could ever be. I could be just as happy anywhere so long as I keep that perception; get my joy out of others’ joy, out of the journey, out of the roadblocks and trains that get in my way. Those are the things that give us experience and stories to tell. Those are the things that shape who we are. If we endure these petite things in life to the fullest, we will ultimately become the better person we always strive to be. We will enjoy life to its end, as it should be.
I would hate to hurry through all of my life, one point unto the next until death. “I am just going to hurry to graduate high school to go to college.” “I am just going to hurry to graduate college to get into the real world.” “I am just going to hurry to get married.” “I am just going to hurry to get that promotion.” “I am just going to hurry to get to retirement.” “I am just going to hurry to..to…” ..to death. If we live our lives like this constantly, we will eventually not have anything to hurry to, and we will feel as if we have no purpose in life, since we have no where to go. That would be terribly sad, a life wasted to hurry. I wouldn’t want to miss out on all the amazing oppurtunities that are thrown at me through life’s journey. I would rather take the time to endure everything, the good and the bad, to actually have a story to tell at the end of my life..not just about how quick I got to my end. I wouldn’t want my life story to be summed up as a hurry, would you?
